The Deadly Replay
Submitted by sock on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 10:45
The Six Million Dollar Blog - The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman
Friday, November 22, 1974
Plot in a Nutshell:
*** DISCLAIMER*** I didn't actually watch this episode, but not for lack of trying. Unfortunately, everytime I put the DVD on and hit play I fell asleep faster and deeper than Rip Van Winkle. So instead of trying again for the 15th time, I decided to base my blog on what I already knew about the episode (something lethal happens again) and one screenshot taken automatically every minute on the minute.
00:00 - And the episode begins. Here we have a plane flying. I'll guess Steve is on board. If it crashes, I'll KNOW he's on board.
01:00 - And here we have a guy in a blue short-sleeved shirt with a wife-beater underneath. Not sure what he's doing, maybe he's about to get drunk and arrested by COPS™.
02:00 - Steve lands the plane. He's back on the ground and greeting someone from the cockpit. Could he be greeting Wife-Beater-Guy? Very intriguing, clearly the plot is thickening.
03:00 - Aaaaannd...Steve sees something. Not really sure what it is, but clearly it is a major plot-point. We can tell this from the intense look on his nose and left eye.
04:00 - And he's still looking at the thing and he's still very concerned. And Wife-Beater-Guy looks maybe a little angry. Steve must be seeing something related to Wife-Beater-Guy. Maybe his beaten wife? Probably not, I'm pretty sure there weren't any episodes of The Six Million Dollar Man featuring Steve wailing on a guy who beats his wife. Well, I'll probably figure it out soon enough.
05:00 - And opening credits roll. I'm still a little concerned that I didn't see what Steve saw. Oh well, it couldn't have been too important, right?
06:00 - Now Steve is watching Oscar eat a sandwich. Clearly Oscar has an additional half-sandwich sitting on his plate, but it looks like he isn't offering any to Steve. That's very rude. And Steve seems to be eyeing the sandwich. He's probably hungry. Why doesn't Oscar offer Steve a bite? What's wrong with you, Oscar?
07:00 - And now after eating the entire sandwich all by himself in front of Steve, we see Oscar is growing tired. This happens to me every afternoon after lunch as well, I know exactly how he feels. A nice cup of sugar with a little coffee in it usually wakes me right up.
08:00 - Steve is flying again. Not Sure if he's taking off or landing.
09:00 - Still not sure if he's taking off or landing. These two could be seeing him off or greeting him. I'm going to assume from the way the woman is shielding her eyes that they're seeing him off as he flys away into the wild blue yonder.
10:00 - Steve is back on the ground and hanging around more airplanes. I'm starting to think the plot revolves around airplanes. This is merely an educated guess.
11:00 - And this couple is back. They must be brother and sister. What makes me think that? Well, they seem to always be together and the girl clearly thinks the guy is a square from the look she's giving him. Don't all sisters think their brothers are squares?
12:00 - This is a fat guy wearing a yellow shirt.
13:00 - Okay, a little context. Steve is playing golf with the fat guy. Maybe I was wrong, maybe the plot revolves around sports and not planes. Perhaps Steve has to replay a hole at one point, and...something deadly happens, I don't know.
14:00 - Here we see that Steve considers Fat-Yellow-Shirt-Guy a friend, but Fat-Yellow-Shirt-Guy wants Steve to take his hands off him. Fat-Yellow-Shirt-Guy must be the villain, lending credence to my deadly-golf-hole-replay theory.
15:00 - Cut to what looks like a high school dance. Perhaps this is the deadly replay, instead. Steve and all his old high-school friends decide it would be fun to all get together and replay their old senior prom, and...something deadly happens.
16:00 - Still Dancing. My prom theory is looking more and more accurate.
17:00 - And the brother and sister have a spat. Very high school. Clearly, I have deduced the plot. But...what will happen that's so deadly? I'm on pins and needles waiting to find out.
18:00 - Steve looks unhappy. Could the deadly replay have happened? Perhaps the deadly replay happened, someone is dead, and now Steve is sad. That must be it.
19:00 - A black screen. This must be a scene from the point of view of the person who died.
20:00 - Okay, drinking a cup of coffee. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe the black screen was Steve sleeping and now it's morning and he's having his first cup 'o joe of the day.
21:00 - Hmmm, back to airplanes. Okay, maybe I was right the first time and the plot revolves around aircraft. Fair enough, looks like Steve is getting ready to pilot a flight simulator. That's probably a good idea when you consider the number of plane crashes he's been in. Keep him away from the real things whenever possible.
22:00 - And Wife-Beater-Guy is back, looking even angier then last time. He must really hate his wife.
23:00 - Steve's looking a little under the weather in the simulator. It's probably just like Star Tours in there. It looks like it's stationary from the outside but you get inside and it's a freakin' roller coaster. Last time I got on Star Tours this is how I looked.
24:00 - Yep, this is how things looked when I got off Star Tours.
25:00 - Oscar is concerned. Clearly he doesn't think Steve should be riding on roller coasters.
26:00 - But Steve will having nothing of it. He likes roller coasters and he'll get on them again, no one's gonna tell him what to do. No sir.
27:00 - Wife-Beater-Guy looks like he just saw the cops outside his window. Good, it's about time they arrested this guy. He can't be allowed to get away with beating his wife.
28:00 - And Steve takes a break to play videogames.
29:00 - Oops, sorry, I mean to fly the simulator again. This time he's not getting sick. Must have taken a dramamine.
30:00 - This kid seems pleased. Perhaps he's the one that gave Steve the dramamine and he's happy to see he kept Steve from ralphing all over the simulator controls.
31:00 - With the simulation complete, Oscar reads out loud. It must be story time for Steve.
32:00 - Ah, the plot is clearly thickening. Whatever story Oscar was reading must have been terribly important as here we have caught him in mid "move." If he's doing "the move," that can only mean one thing: THE SHIT'S ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN! Pardon my french.
33:00 - Wow, Oscar has been reading stories, talking and doing "the move" for 3 minutes. Impressive.
34:00 - Another plane. This episode is an aircraft aficionado's wet dream.
35:00 - A little manly cheesecake.
36:00 - Leaving so soon and so seriously? She must be a lesbian.
37:00 - Steve boards another plane. How many times has he flown in this episode already, anyway?
38:00 - And another plane.
39:00 - ANOTHER freakin' plane! Gaaahhhh!
40:00 - And here we follow the plotting of the plane's trajectory.
41:00 - Still plotting the trajectory.
42:00 - Still...plotting...the...trajectory. Trajectory is a very technical term that means "boring and endlessly repetitive stock footage."
43:00 - Steve flys around high in the sky.
44:00 - Steve looks confused, perhaps upset. Could the deadly replay be happening now? I don't know, there have been so many false deadly replays up to this point that I just can't be sure. I'll hedge my bet and say that nothing's happened yet.
45:00 - Everybody waits in the control room for Steve to land. Everything seems to be going fine. No problems whatsoever.
46:00 - Wait, is this the opening credits again? Can't be.
47:00 - And the plane comes in for a landing. This must be the deadly replay. Steve is going to die right here and the series will end prematurely after only half a first season and a quarter of a second.
48:00 - And Steve lands safely...wait...WHAT? Are you kidding? Where was the deadly replay? How could I miss it? Was it the golf hole? The senior prom redux? It clearly wasn't anything to do with the plane, that thing doesn't have a scratch on it! Man, I got gypped.
49:00 - Steve looks fine. He's not dead, he's not even maimed. I don't understand. Nobody died. How deadly is something where nobody dies?
50:00 - Steve pets his plane goodbye. Clearly this is his favorite plane ever.
50:48 - Credits roll. At least I managed to stay awake for the screenshots if not the actual moving video.
Oscar does "The Move":
How Did You Do That Quote:
Ted Collins: "You've..ah..got a pretty good grip."
Move your mouse over Steve to see his answer.
Booooorrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggg. I'll give it one Steve for having Oscar do "the move," although he does it slow enough that even "the move" comes off a little boring.
This is a test