The Six Million Dollar Blog - The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman
| Starring: |
Lee Majors as Steve Austin |
| |
Richard Anderson as Oscar Goldman |
| Guest Starring: |
Steve Forrest as Quail |
| |
Kevin Tighe as Root |
| |
Tom Reese as Joe Alabam |
| |
Arlene Martel as Violette |
| |
Barry Cahill as Submarine Captain |
| |
Hank Stohl as Balsam |
| |
Ben Wright as Ives |
| |
H. Alan Deglin as Hurst |
| |
Tom Hayden as Sonar |
| |
|
| Written by: |
Richard Landau |
| Produced by: |
Sam Strangis & Donald Boyle |
| Directed by: |
Reza Badiyi |
Plot in a Nutshell: Dr. Evil plans to use a "laser" to kill the members of a summit in Paris.
Story Summary: A U.S. government spy is sending a secret message when he is found out by the bad guys, but he takes a poison pill before he can be interrogated by our villain, Quail.
Quail has been hired to create the ultimate laser weapon that's untraceable and with a range of 3000 miles.
"I call it Preparation H."
Oscar receives the message from the spy and decides to send in Steve to stop Quail. Oscar shows him where he's going with a series of slides of the secret base he must infiltrate.
Spy pictures so cutting edge they show Steve infiltrating the base IN THE FUTURE!
Steve trains to infiltrate the base. He learns:
How to be shot out of a torpedo tube,
how to scale a cliff with a grappling hook,
and how to pole vault over a 30 foot electrified fence.
He is then sent into action. He:
is shot out of a torpedo tube,
grapples his way up a cliff (the exact same cliff he trained on, they didn't even change the camera angle),
and his stuntman pole vaults over a 30-foot electrified fence.
Steve then runs around the base for a while,
Seriously, we spend a lot of time watching this.
and then he finally infiltrates the base interior through a ventilation shaft. Unfortunately, the base computers pick up the radiation in Steve's bionics and inform Quail where Steve is.
Quail takes his team, and his girl, Violette, down to the sewer level to find the source of the radiation.
"Say, is it cold in this elevator, or is it just me?"
Steve is spotted and captured. They interrogate him by yelling and flashing strobe lights in his face, but they get nothing from him.
Then, Violette goes in alone to interrogate him using the Vulcan nerve pinch.
Learned when she hung around with Spock in her rebellious youth.
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Violette informs Steve that she is an interpol agent, tells him of the laser and that it will be used later that day. Steve tells her to deactivate the radiation sensor while he escapes captivity.
Violette turns off the sensor by causing it to blow out, but is captured by Quail and his men. Meanwhile, Steve has escaped and infiltrated the now empty laser room. He fiddles with the computer systems just before he too is captured.
Then, in true supervillain fashion, Quail tells Steve his entire plan while saying "I think it's only fitting you know the whole story, before you die." He plans to use the laser to set off explosives hidden in a summit meeting in Paris.
Because one of these would have been a little too 'Wile E. Coyote.'
Steve and Violette run out of the room and Steve informs her that he set the laser to self-destruct upon activation.
Quail stays behind to prepare the laser for firing. Meanwhile for Steve and Violette, the chase is on. And an interesting chase it is:
First they're being chased by these two guys.
So they hijack a golf cart of their own.
Then suddenly they're being chased by three guys.
Followed by a horrible golf cart accident.
Resulting in them going back to being chased by only two guys.
Then all of a sudden they're being chased by FOUR guys!
During the entire chase, the computer that we saw get blown up by Violette inexplicably continues to track Steve and inform them where he is.
"I saw it die, I tell you. I SAW IT DIE!"
Steve and Violette escape the same way Steve came in and the secret base explodes when Quail activates the laser.
The End.
How Did You Do That Quote:
Violette: "I still don't understand, how did you get out of that cell?"
Move your mouse over Steve to see his answer.
Overall Grade: 
Final Thoughts: Awesome episode. What's so awesome? Steve Forrest, hot interpol agents, submarines, cold nipples, zombie computers, vulcan neck pinches, crashing golf carts, traveling via torpedo tube, exploding lasers, exploding secret bases, and exploding mountains. What more can you ask for? This is the episode that Wine, Women and War and Solid Gold Kidnapping both aspired to be but failed.
Listen to the Cyborgs: A Bionic Podcast for this episode at chronicrift.com
This episode's Bionic Wiki Page
This episode's IMDB Page
Comments
Like a Movie
This is the episode that reminds me of watching a film more so than even the pilot episodes. Hard to believe that all the action could be contained in one hour!
JayManiac