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The Seven Million Dollar Man
Submitted by Sock on Sat, 2012-03-31 18:42
The Six Million Dollar Blog - The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman
www.the6milliondollarblog.comFriday, Nov 1, 1974
|Starring:||Lee Majors as Steve Austin|
|Richard Anderson as Oscar Goldman|
|Alan Oppenheimer as Dr. Rudy Wells|
|Guest Starring:||Monte Markham as Barney Miller|
|Marshall Reed as Gate Guard|
|Fred Lerner as O.S.I. Man|
|Maggie Sullivan as Carla Peterson|
|Executive Producer:||Harve Bennett|
|Written by:||Peter Allan Fields|
|Produced by:||Lionel E. Siegel & Joe L. Cramer|
|Directed by:||Dick Moder|
Plot in a Nutshell: Oscar builds a second bionic man. Bionic hijinks ensue.
Story Summary: Steve is in Rudy's office having his regular psych evaluation. During the questioning, he embarasses Carla, Rudy's head nurse, by making cracks about their former romance.
The session ends and Carla leaves, clearly announcing her plans to lock the psych report tape in the security vault.
Moments later, Steve spies Carla in the parking lot handing the secret tape to a mysterious man who drives off in a red sports car. Steve tries to chase him down, but the car is tearing down the road and gets away. When Steve returns to Rudy's lab, everyone claims they have no idea what he's talking about.
Later that day, Steve spots a photo of the tape recipient in Carla's hands as she's cleaning out her desk, having been fired earlier by Oscar. It's Barney Miller, a big-time well-known race car driver who survived a terrible crash. Two plus two equals four and Steve figures it out.
Cut to Carla meeting Barney at the local pub. Steve follows her in his car and enters a few moments after she does. Barney, recognizing Steve, congenially introduces himself but then starts acting up and threatening to expose Steve's secret. He challenges Steve to armwrestle, promising the bartender minimal damages. Steve agrees in order to shut him up. This, of course, doesn't go well...
Watch Barney's face and the way he moves his head up to look at Steve just after they bust the table. It's a priceless moment:
The cat being out of the bag, Oscar admits he and everyone else lied to Steve. Barney has been having a hard time adjusting to his new bionic reality. Steve agrees to help Barney on his first official mission, but only on the condition that Carla be given her job back.
And Now a Word from our Sponsors
Barney and Steve pose as telephone pole repair men in order to retrieve 800 pounds of stolen plutonium. The plutonium thieves are well-known to the government and plan to transfer their ill-gotten gains to a safe house in broad daylight and in front of witnesses. You gotta love easy assignments.
The bad guys show up right on schedule for Barney and Steve to make their move. Steve runs in and grabs the plutonium while Barney creates a distraction by bionically beating the shit out of everything he sees - and enjoying it.
Steve sees what's going on and runs back to stop Barney before he kills someone.
Back at Rudy's lab, Barney can't seem to come down from his bionic high. He raves about what a great time he had, how great he feels, and how he wants to use his new bionic powers to write his own "ticket." His rant goes on and on and culminates in the ominous words, "I mean, you and me, Steve, we...ah, we gotta be friends, right?"
Steve suggests to Oscar they power Barney down to normal human strength and Oscar agrees. Barney, on the other hand, does not.
Barney breaks into Oscar's safe and then forces Rudy to tell him where the bionic source material is located. It's in subterranean level two, vault seven. Barney heads down there with Steve hot on his tail. The fight is on.
Now, normally, this is where I would describe the fight a little, maybe show a few screenshots like this one:
or this one:
and certainly this one:
But I'm just going to tell you that this fight (and the episode surrounding it) are so worth watching yourself that I simply suggest you pull out your DVD of this episode and watch it again, or go to THIS LINK and order The Six Million Dollar Man Complete Series Boxed Set if you don't already have it (of course you already have it, you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't, right?). It's worth every penny.
Soon after the fight, Steve visits Barney in the hospital where his bionic strength has been reduced forever.
Bonus Video: Oscar Does "The Move" TWICE!
How Did You Do That Quote:
Steve: (surprised stare) ". . . ?"
Move your mouse over Barney to see his answer.
Final Thoughts: Six Steves. Our second six Steve episode. Our previous Six-Stever, Burning Bright, was awarded six for guest-starring William Shatner and being the first episode of the series I ever witnessed. The Seven Million Dollar Man gets six for being the first truly brilliant episode of the series. There's been some great stuff up 'til now, but this episode takes all the great from the previous episodes and brings it together to give us a show where the entire thing functions as a highlight reel. Fantastic, just fantastic.