Plot in a Nutshell:People are being kidnapped and ransomed for absurd amounts of money.
Story Summary:Julian Peck has kidnapped Ambassador Scott and is ransoming him for 1.5 million dollars.
Dean Wormer is kidnapping government employees!
"Why can't Darren get Samantha to wiggler her nose and get me out of here?"
Steve infiltrates the kidnappers camp in Mexico, seamlessly blending in among the entirely Mexican workers.
"Mi llamo Paco."
He sets off some bombs that distract the kidnappers allowing him to rescue the ambassador. Peck witnesses Steve hanging by one arm from a helicopter during his escape and comes to the conclusion that Steve must be an interesting guy.
It turns out Peck works for an organization that deals exclusively in kidnapping for ransom.
"Kidnapping for Ransom" is a poor business plan.
Pecks rival in the organization, Roger Ventriss, devises a plan to kidnap a top level negotiator named William Cameron and ransom him for:
"One Billion Dollars!"
Oscar is protecting Cameron by hiding him in a hospital, but the kidnappers infiltrate the hospital using a brilliant ruse the OSO couldn't possibly have planned for: they dress as doctors.
"Our plan is genius, it can't miss!"
The plan succeeds as they nab Cameron while knocking out Mel Bristo, the OSO agent in charge of protecting him. Peck is angered by Roger's ridiculously easy success and shoots him.
Steve is called back from vacation to help find the kidnappers. He is introduced to Dr. Erica Bergner at Rudy's lab.
Why does Rudy's lab look like it's in someone's basement?
Bergner plans to implant brain cells from Roger into her own brain and access his memories. Upon waking from surgery, she directs them all to Switzerland. While Steve and Bergner fly away, Oscar prepares to ship $1 billion in gold to the kidnappers and puts Mel Bristo in charge of security. In Switzerland, Bergner thinks of the numbers 17, 34 and 6 and Steve deduces they are 3 contiguous numbers on a roulette wheel, so they go to the same tiny casino Steve went to in Wine, Women and War. Thankfully leaving his white tux at home.
Steve gets picked up at the casino by the Contessa DeRojas (who?) while Peck watches. She brings him back to her hillside house where later that day he leaves while she pretends to sleep. He is shot at and gets in a boat chase before arriving back at his hotel.
Meanwhile, the lab rat that the memory experiment was first performed on starts to act screwy in a plot point that will be mentioned several more times before being completely dropped by the end of the movie.
Steve confronts the Contessa and discovers she was paid by Peck to pick him up at the casino. Steve uses her to capture Peck, with Bergner as a witness to murder.
"I saw the whole thing! I wasn't actually there, but I saw the whole thing!"
Later, Oscar shows up at Steve's hotel hoping to get more information from Bergner, but she's forgotten everything. Wait...she remembers...a cargo ship.
It turns out the billion in gold has been stolen while in transit. This is what happens when you put the guy who failed to protect Cameron in charge of transporting $1 billion in gold and make him the ONE GUY guarding it. Is the OSO doing the kidnappers work for them? A moot plot point anyway as the movie has only 5 minutes left to play out.
Steve goes to a dock somewhere and boards the first cargo ship he comes to. This ship is exactly the ship he needs to infiltrate, the same ship that has been out to sea for the entire movie until this moment.
Steve rescues Cameron and knocks out the chairman of the organization. The chairman's secretary attempts to retrieve a gun, but Steve crushes it with his foot. Then he walks out, presumably allowing the secretary to escape.
"Gotta go. See ya."
Bonus Video: Oscar Does "The Move"
The End.
Overall Grade:
Final Thoughts: The only thing moving in slow-motion in this movie is the plot.
And I'm not talking about Steve Austin as a pilot. I'm saying this episode is a downer of all the SMDM pilots! I never understood why SMDM had to have 3 pilots in the first place.
Comments
Just plain terrible
Glen Larson must have been in a coma when he wrote these two pilot movies.
Worst Pilot
And I'm not talking about Steve Austin as a pilot. I'm saying this episode is a downer of all the SMDM pilots! I never understood why SMDM had to have 3 pilots in the first place.
JayManiac