Wine, Women, and War
Submitted by sock on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 16:24
The Six Million Dollar Blog - The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman
Saturday, October 20, 1973
Plot in a Nutshell:
Steve stops a black-market nuclear weapons dealer by blowing him up with a nuclear weapon.
Steve is at a swanky dinner party in Alexandria wearing a reversible tuxedo/wet-suit. He signals an American ship off the coast and then dives into the water and infiltrates a yacht. Unfortunately, he quickly discovers that what he has been sent to the other side of the planet to snatch isn't there.
Upon returning stateside, Steve is even more distressed to discover that the hot chick he met in Egypt was killed before he could go back to rescue her. He sulks about a bit before meeting his old friend Harry Donner who suggests he take a vacation to the Bahamas.
Steve sneaks out of the OSO facility he's being held in, and heads to the Bahamas. On the plane he meets Alotta Fagina...er Katrina Volana.
Later, after landing, he takes a swim and runs along the beach.
Then he meets this girl hanging around his bungalow.
Then he and the the girl go golfing.
On the golf course, he meets his old Russian friend Alexi.
Alexi is hanging out with Katrina and Arlen Findletter. Findletter seems to recognize Steve from the party. Steve leaves and heads back to his bungalow and finds an invitation to dinner from Findletter.
He arrives to dinner wearing his best tuxedo.
However, he never makes it to dinner as his buddy Alexi hits him with a drugged dart and kidnaps him, sending him out to the middle of the ocean on a yacht with Katrina.
In the most implausible moment of the entire movie, Steve leaves Britt Ekland behind on the yacht to head back to his bungalow.
He stows away in the back of Findletters limo as Findletter and Alexi are heading to Findletters lair to check out the nuclear missiles. Steve eyes the missiles as Findletter and Alexi talk, then he stows away again to get out.
Then, he goes back and infiltrates Findletters lair again while Alexi and Katrina are there. Findletter threatens to kill Alexi, but Steve rescues him and then Alexi gets shot anyway. Alexi falls to the floor and Steve and Katrina stop and talk to him instead of getting away. They are captured and tied up. They escape, head to Findletters nuclear bomb stash, and Steve hot wires one of the bombs to go off when its silo is opened. On the way out, Steve has another coloring book moment:
Steve grabs Katrina in his arms and runs at bionic speed away from the secret lair.
Having correctly assumed that Findletter would open the silos in both exact numerical order and one at a time, he outruns the ensuing nuclear blast.
Steve dedicates the massive death and destruction wrought by the explosion to Alexi and the hot chick who got killed off-screen at the beginning of the movie.
Oscar does "The Move":
How Did You Do That Quote:
Cynthia Holland: "How did you do that?"
Katrina Volana: "How can you see where you're going?"
Move your mouse over Steve to see his answer.
Actually, I would give this entry only 2 Steves, but for the following:
- The opening credits music.
- The Bond-babes...er Austin-babes, Britt Ekland, Michele Carey, and the dead hot chick at the beginning.
- Steve using a nuclear explosion and blowing up half an island in order to stop one arms dealer, and then dedicating the massive destruction to people who fought to make sure that bomb would never go off. Oh, Steve, you rascal you.
Combine the whole, and we have a 4-Stever. Good times.
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